Faster Pussycat, Frill, Frill

Dog people just don’t seem to understand cats. Over 46 million households in America have cats, second only to the 65 million that have dogs. Yet, cats continue to be misunderstood. They get bad press. Maybe a new public relations director would be helpful. For all those out there who remain uninformed about our feline companions, consider this a brief (and with luck, entertaining) tutorial on the subject.

My first and most essential point should be obvious, but clearly is not to a great number of people out there. Cats aren’t dogs. I’ll hear people say things like, “Cats don’t play fetch” or “They don’t come when you call.” Some indeed do those things, but this is still the error of judging a cat by dog standards. Just as I wouldn’t put a dog down by carping that it can’t jump from the floor to the top of my armoire. There’s a saying, often attributed incorrectly to Einstein, which posits that if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, you’d conclude that the fish is stupid. Well, dogs and cats have different characteristics.

A huge fallacy is the idea that our kitties are cold and distant. This is so wrong as to be laughable. They’re just as affectionate and loving as dogs are. They just show it differently because, and try to say it with me out loud this time, cats aren’t dogs. My cat sleeps next to me on the couch and nuzzles his head on my leg. He licks my face. He purrs when I pick him up. He blinks his eyes slowly at me, the universally accepted sign that a cat loves you. When I go to pick my wife up from the train station, he waits at the window until he sees us walk into the building. There is a caveat, though. Dogs will chase your affection no matter what. They’ll make fools of themselves. They’ll love you even if you are completely apathetic towards them. Cats aren’t that desperate. If you treat them like a piece of furniture, they have too much pride to beg for your attention. On the other hand, any tenderness you show toward them will be returned many times over. Just because a cat doesn’t jump on you when you walk through the door doesn’t mean they don’t love you.  

I had a dog when I was growing up, from the time I was age seven until I was nineteen, so my experience is both types of pets. Where I have lived as an adult, dogs haven’t been permitted, so it’s a moot point about whether I want to have a dog. I really don’t, however, and it has nothing to do with how I feel about them in general. As much as I appreciate dogs, I don’t appreciate getting up early in the morning to let them out so they can do their business. I also don’t appreciate the barking (or their penchant for eating feces). I’m not saying that those traits would deter me from having a dog again, but they don’t end up in the plus column on my decision sheet, either. Some people will have dogs for security, but I’m not so sure that Chihuahuas or Toy Poodles fit the bill any better than the average tabby. Dogs require more everyday care and hands-on attention, more than I want to dole out at this stage of my life, but it’s also possible that will change down the road. I’m open to it.

As a matter of principle, I reject all attempts to pit dog owners against cat owners, as is done often on social media. One need not choose one over the other. Don’t we have enough enmity among people as it is? I love dogs as do most of my fellow cat fanciers, but few dog people love cats. Some have treated my cats like they had a disease that was catching, no matter how friendly they were to these rotten humans. I try not to be insulted, telling myself that these are just ignoramuses. I can be a cat booster without being a dog detractor. Cats are domesticated yet retain many qualities you would see in lions, cheetahs, panthers, and tigers. I find their behavior quite fascinating. For the record, I expect to convert exactly zero dog folk who read this post, but at least I know they’ve exited this page just a little more knowledgeable on the subject. And when you’re stumbling out of bed at 5am to take your doggie for a walk, I’ll be rolling over with a bladder full of pee, looking forward to several more hours of slumber.